Devinography

What’s Happening Magazine – February 2014. Valentine’s Day Issue

My new column is out and ready for you to read. Check it out here!

Daniel is Talking About

“The Butterfly Effect” for What’s Happening Magazine – December 2013 issue

What’s Happening Magazine – Oct. 2013

“My coming-out story”

For full magazine visit:
http://www.whatshappeningmagazine.com

My Top 4 Compulsive Golden Rules to Living

In an attempt to get back to my blogging, in no particular order, I’ve compiled a list of my Top 4 Compulsive Golden Rules to Living (Single).

1 – Wash your dishes daily. You don’t want uninvited pests coming around. Needless to say, the sight is unbearable.
2 – Keep perishables (vegetables left in sink, fat you cut off meat, even those meat-juice soaked styrofoam trays from grocery-store, etc) in the freezer until next trip to dumpster. In this Florida climate, it’ll eliminate odors and tiny little pests from flying around your kitchen garbage can. If you’re fortunate enough to have a garbage disposal, skip to rule #3.
3 – Make your bed daily. Even if its 7 p.m. and you just got home from work. There’s something about laying in an unmade bed that is unsettling.
4 – Always moisturize and use sunscreen. I don’t know why, just take my word for it. You’ll thank me later.

My Wonder Year

“Dreams are how we figure out where we want to go and life is how we get there. Dreams are found in the weirdest things.” I can’t recall where I read that, but it stuck.

The year was 2008 and nervous breakdowns were the thing to have. Everyone who was anyone was succumbing. A hypochondriac by nature and not wanting to be left out, I started feeling exhaustion due to being pulled left and right from work, family, dating and a social life.
I was single in L.A. and tired of meeting the same boys who were always in search for the next best thing. I was so over the scene. The town got too small for me… hell, the entire state got too small. On the weekends, I would drive up and down California from San Francisco to San Diego for dancing gigs and the free time I had, I used to complete a VERRRRY low budget movie. It was putting a toll on me. I was saying yes to everyone, spreading myself thin and I had had enough. I had always maintained a full-time job but these side-projects helped me obtain a feeling of accomplishment. Busy and productive equaled validity. However, none of ithese projects I did for the money and as I approached my late 20’s and saw I had nothing to show for. It was then I realized it was not difficult to put everything on the back-burner and try a more quiet lifestyle. Feeling too old to continue chasing after distant dreams, I followed my gut feeling which was demanding me to quit complaining and make a change. The result? I packed up my bags and headed to the sunny Miami Beach, Florida.

Within two months of settling in South beach, I was fortunate to find a partner I was able to click with. Time would tell, however, that it would be difficult to build friendships due to South Beach’s transient nature. The relationship was just wonderful. We’d spend every 4th of July in Michigan and throw themed Halloween costume parties. We’d set up elaborate Christmas card photo-shoots and make videos of our favorite carols and send it into the Youtube stratosphere. We were cheese-balls and considered each other our soulmate. Beach-life was nice. Florida was nice. Then, for reasons one cannot explain, we broke up after 3 years. We are still friends to this day.

After that amicable breakup, 2012 happened. Early, last year, I felt betrayed when after dedicating 3 years of sweat and blood for a company that I considered second to family, they were quick to let me go once my division was shutdown and they realized a position wasn’t available for me. I had been prepared but it all still came as a shock that they couldn’t find me a position or make one up considering I was their most loyal, go-to, jack-of-all-trades guy. It felt like they had stuck their fists in my stomach, twisted the insides and proceeded to pull out whatever they could get their hands on. It was only March but already my second breakup. It was then, I realized it’s an each-man-for-himself kind of world out there. To make it worse, I got a DUI, my first apartment, and three job changes, not including a failed stint in real estate. My plans of furnishing my new apartment, traveling, and possibly looking into getting a new car had instead been substituted by court fees, traffic fines and the obligatory therapy sessions. I was so happy when 2013 arrived that I spent New Years alone in my apartment just so it can all settle in.

Fast forward to today and I have inexplicable joy as I find myself packing again with the intentions of doing something I have always wanted to do, but thought I wasn’t cut-out for, a full-on Las Vegas show! As a child, I had no choice but to drop out of tap-dance classes due to humiliation when, to my Mother’s surprise, my school didn’t offer boy’s tap shoes. I also jremember begging her to invest hundreds of dollars in photo-shoots for a casting company which, now looking back, was probably a scam. However, I never gave-up on my dreams of being an extra on the Wonder Years which was occasionally filming at my elementary school. The show was eventually cancelled and I never made my cameo. So close yet so far.

For the past couple years I’ve been threatening to move back to California; or anywhere in that time zone. As it turned out I was missing the proximity of the beach, mountains and desert; all within a drive’s distance. I missed my people and I took granted the relationships I built with friends and the bond I had with my family. I had no intentions, however, of moving back without a job in hand. I’ve been waiting and waiting for the right one to come around. They say patience is a virtue but I was getting tired of the wait. I prayed for signs that would lead me in the right direction which will hopefully take me back west. So you could imagine my response when I got a call from a renowned choreographer to be 1/7 of a Las Vegas male revue show. The FIRST gay male revue show for that matter. Yes, it’s not quite California and no, I am not a professional dancer, and perhaps it sounds a bit crazy, but after having survived 2012, I said, “fuck it”. I had had my version of what I wanted 2012 to be but instead, the events that had unfolded were beyond my control. This new year I would dedicate to taking risks and embracing change. Taking life by the horns, as they say. I am NOT the most flexible person in the world but I’m spending more time at the gym working on my flexibility and I have somewhat of stage fright. Despite that, I am no stranger to a stage nor the spotlight. I shall face my fears because an opportunity like this comes only once in a lifetime.

Recently, I found inspiration in form of a book about an 80 year old man who escaped from a nursing home and spent whatever time he had left traveling with a circus. There’s a lot more to that story (like when he was younger he had been a vet for a circus), and yes, it was nonfiction, but if you don’t read for the inspiration, whats the point? Yet, here I am, not nearly close to my 80’s and I feel the need to run off and join my own circus. As of now, the most exciting thing I had looking forward to in 2013 was my job moving to a new location. Now, I have the dry Vegas heat, the strip’s neon lights and a dream in plain view.

Adieu, Thorn In My Side

Dear DUI,

I’ve had plenty of alone time lately, which in turn, has gotten me thinking a lot about our relationship.  It’s been 6 months now and all you’ve brought me is heartache, trouble and sleepless nights.  Please don’t take this the wrong way, and I hope you understand where I’m coming from, but I think it’s time we go our separate ways.

Don’t get me wrong, you have taught me a lot about myself since the first time we met that January night.  You’ve made me realize I am not bullet-proof, nor an invincible super-hero, but a mere human being capable of making mistakes.  You’ve made me realize things can be perfect one day and Hell-on-earth the following.  You’ve also helped me realize who of my friends were really there for me in my time of need.  Ironically, with all that said, you’ve made me a stronger person, so at least I have that to thank you for.

On the other hand, I’ve also realized you’re not so perfect yourself.  When, in the past, I’d hear somebody mention they’d met you, or somebody that they knew that was cousin of somebody you knew, I considered myself fortunate to not have had that “privilege”.  Now, however, I can say with sure certainty that you are nothing but a cold, money-hungry, conniving, Son-of-a-bitch.

Did you know that thanks to you and the thousands of dollars you’ve taken from me right before my eyes, I’ve had to cancel all my planned vacations?  Did you also know that I haven’t had the luxury of even stopping into the new H&M just 2 blocks from my apartment because every cent I make goes to you?  That I’ve also had to limit my dinners with friends at restaurants?

Have I also told you that I am now terrified of the police and I despise them just as much?  That I catch myself grinding my teeth in the middle of the night due to the stress you’ve caused?  How about that the most humiliating thing (aside from jail time) was telling my Mother about you?  Did you know that?  Did you?

To put it nicely, I’ve learned enough to know that I hate your guts and I never want to see your face for as long as I live.  So I bid you farewell.  On your way now.  Go on!  We are officially over!

Sincerely,

Daniel

PS:  Oh, and please don’t harass my family, friends and loved ones.  Nobody deserves to be taken out to a cold, smelly cell on a first date.

What New Year’s Resolution??

Please take a minute and read my original, unedited New Year Resolution article I wrote for What’s Happening Magazine, then tell me what you think.  Happy reading!

_____________________What New Year’s Resolution??_____________________

I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions.  In fact, I’ve never made a single one.  I think of them as a mere tradition in which people set goals with no real intentions of commiting and we all can agree we still get a bit squirmish whenever the “C” word is thrown around, especially if the outcome doesn’t involve sex or a prenup.
I mean, how many of you have ever gone to a 4th of July BBQ and overheard someone say, “nah, I’ll stick to just one turkey burger, please_oh, and let’s skip the bun_I’m trying to keep that New Year’s resolution going.  Will you pass the Michelob Ultra?”
I think there should always be a time and reason for improving one’s sel.  I, for one, have accomplished a few things that I’m pretty proud of without having felt the “commitment” that is associated with the need of a new beginning.  For example, back in 2006, I quit smoking after almost 10 years.  If I recall correctly, it was during the summer and there was an approaching pool-party wheere I wanted to show-off a set of new-and-improved pecs as well as a new swimsuit.  Of course, the real reason was because I was having a hard time breathing during my bench presses.  Regardless what the real push behind it is, the important thing is to have a motive in order to commit.

I also rememeber once, decididng to cut bread out of my diet.  Boy, was that fun.  Again, during the summer and before a pool-party, I’m sure. That lasted about a few years, but add that along to having just quit smoking and you got yourself a miserabe, cranky individual who survived only on albacore tuna and unsalted crackers.  AND, to top it off I refrained from attending ANY Holiday gatherings for the fear of embarassing myself by tearing uo the dessert table once I stood before it.
On a recent self-improvement kick, I promised myself (well, my BF Glenn) that I’d stop drinking for a week because he felt I was, his words: “abusing the bottle” a little much.  I told “that’s just ridiculous” and I added that that’s how I deal with “stress from work”.  I kept that promise and succeeded, but he didn’t have to remind me twice when the week was over.  In no time, I was back to my normal, happy self!
One thing I DID tell myself I’d do at the beginning of 2012_and by doing so I had set it free into the Twitter universe_ was that I would start to put my thoughts and ideas into words and jot them down.  I wasn’t clear whether it would be in form of a diary, notebook, or perhaps a Hollywood screenplay and my story would soon make it to the big screen starring that little kid from Modern Family.
Well, that hasn’t happenend yet, but I did, in fact, start my very first blog AND I got more involved in the contributing process of writing for this fine piece of reading material you are currently holding in your hands.  Granted, due to my field of “expertise”, I was always summoned to write for the WHM Nude and Swimsuit issues because I was told these would one day become Collector’s items and valuable.  Plus, I saw it.  and still do, as a stepping stone for a future memoir or perhaps a biographical comic strip!
You may already know, as we enter 2012, we are also entering the year of the DRAGON.  And if the name isn’t enough to smack you on the side of your head and make you think of FEARLESS, ADVENTUROUS and, God forgive me: FIERCE, then girl, you need to put this magazine down and serve yourself a double-shot of ambition!
Hello?  What better year to be all those and then some?  I mean, if we believe the Mayan Calendar, we don’t have much time left.  Yes, I’m aware writing a book, or rather a blog, isn’t necessarily a valiant way to ring in the New Year but hey, gimme a break!  This coming from a boy who’s Father once bet his other straight son $100 if he ever caught me with dirty hands for more than 5 minutes.
So, since everything I have ever written in 2011 will eventually en up in the debris that will supposedly become of 2012, I have decided to take a page from Glenn’s book (no pun intended) and live life more adventurous and DREAM BIG!  Well, realistically at least.  Unlike Glenn, I may not live to experience a safari/bunjee jumping trip to New Zealand anytime soon and frankly, I’d rather leave this world with dignity and prefer not to poop my pants if, in fact, this is the last year I’ll be around.
Plus, I still have a shit-load of petty stuff I would like to check-off my bucket list.  Although they may not be at the caliber of a resolution, perhaps I will finaly decided what I would want as my first and last tattoo.  How about that longing desire to go platinum?  The ladder may be a little age-inappropriate for me, but who gives a fuck!
Oh, and by the way, I’m not one to curse a lot.  It irks me when someone is a compulsive swearer, especially when its a woman, which, I know is a double standard but, blah blah blah.  I still use “fudge” instead of “fuck” and “shoot” instead of “shit”, but at this point, who gives a flying rat’s ass?  It comes with my goal of being stern and outspoken, which I failed to mention earlier, is my very firt (and perhaps last) 2012 “resolution”, if you cust call it that. Anyway, it’s not like you’re going to live to see me in 2013 and say “see that guy walking over there?  He’s the sternest, most outspoken guy I have ever met AND he’s not afraid to throw an F-Bomb!”

Anywho, enough about me.  What will be YOUR 2012 New Year resolution?

_______________________________________________________ 

I also invite you to go to the magazine’s site and check out the entire issue dedicated to the New Year and new beginnings at:

 http://issuu.com/whatshappeningmag/docs/39504_ag_jan/1

“B.’s Beauty Shop” starring BEYONCE, RIHANNA, LADY GAGA & RUPAUL

STARRING BEYONCE, RIHANNA, LADY GAGA & RUPAUL

No Skeletons In This Closet: The CLUB PAPI Years

If you knew me a few years back, you’d remember me in the latin gay circles as a Go-Go dancer of the popular, California-based, CLUB PAPI party circuit.  I use the term “dancer” lightly, because we never plied or sashayed our way across Madison Square Gardens, but we sure as hell ran every Gay Pride’s latin-tent on the West Coast.  LEO, CISCO, QWEST, DANIEL HERMOSILLO and myself, as well as a list of revolving members (BERNIE, ALEX, XAVIER…), and not to mention singing, drag-diva extraordinaire, MISS LOLA, got the crowd hot n’ heavy via gyrating hips and booty poppin’.

A'team from left to right: Leo, me, Qwest, Cisco and Hermosillo

As a member of CLUB PAPI we’d dance on any stage, box or bar around the country promoting the “gay latino scene”.  The title of strictest “dress code” by far is held by the bars in San Jose, CA while the raunchiest (or non-existent) are in the club’s dark rooms of Tijuana, MX.

We toured with latin artists such as LA INDIA and GLORIA TREVI, as well as 90’s acts reaching for that “last hurrah” via their throwback anthems like ROBIN S, CRYSTAL WATERS, and ROZALLA and recent one-hit wonders such as KAT DELUNA.  We were constantly mistaken for boy band members, regularly got free cocktails on flights and there were even talks of a reality show, aptly titled BOYS ON BOXES.  We were the self-proclaimed “ATEAM” – a title I would soon despise having partially coined for it created a barrier between the rookies and The Experienced.  Yet they knew better.  People wanted to either be us, bed us, or throw drinks at us.  Despite the bad rap, partially due to the behind-the-scenes in the dressing rooms, it was an exciting chapter of my life.

I bring-up this stage in my life because-aside from this month being my third year of “retirement” – recently, while at a friends apartment, after showing him GLENN’S music video for “LOVE DANCE” followed by CAZWELL’S “ICE CREAM TRUCK”, we somehow stumbled across old footage from my good ol’ CLUB PAPI days.  Some of the moments required more selective memory than others but I was nicely surprised to see how comfortable I seemed to be in my own skin.

Left to right: Cisco, Saul, Qwest and myself

CLUB PAPI dancers most of the time consisted of DANIEL HERMOSILLO, an Original, with the catchier nickname “BIG BOOTY DANIEL”.  CISCO, another Original-favorite who’d fly all the way from Denver and constantly promoted his website, CISCO’S BOYZ, and brought most of the attention.  The faintly aloof, always destined-to-greater-things, MIKE, a.k.a. QWEST, who wowed the crowd with mad sarong skills, and LEO, my white-washed Mario Lopez-stunner BFF who was my roomie, the life-of-the-party, and the  obvious nucleus of the five of us.

As a member of CLUB PAPI, when we weren’t flying coach, we had the “perks” of traveling almost every weekend up and down California mostly putting extra miles on our leased vehicles.  During long holiday weekends we’d request time-off from our 9 to 5 jobs and work three or more gigs in different time zones.  We’d bunk two, sometimes three in a room, depending on how much leverage JAIME, our Boss, had.  We’d created bonds instantly with certain individuals. Me, with LEO.  LEO with his ‘sista’ HERMOSILLO. HERMOSILLO with his childhood friend, CISCO, and CISCO with his Brotha’s brotha, QWEST.  We all envied and admired the other for having the guts (and the dance moves) to be able to expose themselves in such a way that no inhibitions existed.  More than once I caught myself saying “I wish I was more like him”.

In hotel in Puerto Vallarta. Clockwise from top: Leo, Cisco, me and Hermosillo

Everybody “friended” us on MYSPACE back when it was relevant.  Before TWITTER, we had fans “follow” us to different cities on four-day weekends.  “Friends” bought us nice things, kept our attention, and our glasses full.  Some of us were cunty: HERMOSILLO and QWEST (love you guys!), some of us grateful: LEO and, ahem… ME.  And some occupied the spot in between; CISCO.  I was very much thankful for the extra cash I would earn from a quick feel; just enough to buy me a slice of pizza at the end of a long night’s work.

It was the best feeling!  High on life and the two-drink ticket’s we’d each get from JAIME. We were either drunk or drugged.   Outta our mind, or outta our clothes.  Everybody wanted a piece of us and we were willing to give just for that instant gratification of a new “like”.  I was ready to hit the box, but not before my usual 2 Long Island Ice Teas, a few push-ups, baby oil, and some quick reassurance from a fellow go-go boy regarding the sexiness of a particular ensemble.  Despite the sex-is-in-the-air nature of the business, I never got “aroused” while on stage, but I have fallen off a few times.  While the boys called me “The Praying Mantis”,  a signature move in which I’d perform a head-lock with my legs, on whomever was tipping me – then I’d push him away once I felt he had had enough – the rule was, whatever happened backstage, stayed backstage.

In Puerto Vallarta, MX. Left to right: Leo, Qwest, Hermosillo, Cisco and myself

Looking at that footage I found on CISCO’S Youtube page, I saw another me.  One, kinda like when you’re bestfriend is in a talent show and the “talent” consists of singing, and you’re just like, really expecting the worse.  Thats what I expected.  Instead, I got home and told GLENN about my blast from the past.  I also added the disclaimer that he please excuse me from what I was about to say, but that I kinda liked the guy I saw.

I saw a young guy who was a little lost but fearless and just wanting some attention. Driven and ambitious.  Struggling, yet maintaining a “cool” image.  After all, I was an exclusive member of this exciting fraternity where we all just wanted to have fun, feel sexy and live life – and occasionally  experience something similar to those “initiations” you always hear about but never had the opportunity to attend.  Many auditioned, and we each made bets on how many times we’d think he’d slept with the BOSS, but few could keep up.  We “performed” as far as MIAMI with frequent gigs in TEXAS, ARIZONA, CHICAGO and PUERTO VALLARTA. Some  of us had booty in different cities of the GOLDEN STATE, all the way from THE BAY, to just right above T.J.  Other’s kept their boyfriends on speed-dial. Regardless of all the memories, good and bad, that particular moment in life is one I cannot see myself recreating.  I’m glad I stopped while I was ahead and survived.  I can now cross that off my bucket list.

In Puerto Vallarta, MX. Left to right: Leo, Qwest, Hermosillo, Cisco and myself

Left to right: Cisco, Saul, Qwest and myself

A’team from left to right: Leo, me, Qwest, Cisco and Hermosillo

Miagany

Qwest

Hermosillo

Leo

Cisco

Special thanks to CISCO for the videos below and keeping those memories alive.

TO SEE MORE OFTHE BOYS…ERR, I MEAN MEN, VISIT:

QWEST’S FB FAN PAGE:  www.facebook.com/pages/Official-Michael-Silas-Fan-Page/135089756504519?ref=ts

QWEST’S TWITTER: https://twitter.com/#!/Msilas23

CISCO’S BOYZ FB PAGE:  www.facebook.com/ciscosboyz

CISCO’S TWITTER:  https://twitter.com/#!/YOCISCO

LEO’S FB PAGE:  www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1278710102&ref=ts

DANIEL HERMOSILLO’S FB PAGE:  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000280695562&ref=ts